Movie review - Cyborg


CYBORG






BASIC PLOT
In a post Apocalyptic America where a plague has wiped out most of the population a young woman is traveling to Atlanta carrying a possible cure for the plague. But on her journey she is kidnapped by pirates intent on stopping her.



CAST
Jean Claude Van Damme as Gibs

FACT
Cannon films had the rights to Masters Of The Universe(1987) and had intended on making a sequel and a possible Spider Man film but after they spent two million on sets and costumes the project got ditched due to budget cuts so they used most of the props sets and costumes for this film instead. The film was then shot for just five hundred thousand dollars in twenty four days. One of the fighters in the finial fight scene had his eyeball slashed by Van Damme with a prop knife and like a scumbag he later took Van Damme to court over this and won a small settlement. This was Cannons last ever film they went bust just after this was released or maybe due to it lol.

THOUGHTS AND BEST BITS
Ok so we kick off with Pearl and her bodyguard running from pirates. And of course he gets killed rapid leaving a nice intro for Van Damme and im saying Van Damme cause if you blink in this movie you would never hear his name every as its used in like one scene and if you didnt pay attention then your gonna miss what hes called cause i never knew till i watched it about 20 times lol.

As a kid a did love and still do love any end of the world style films like  Escape From New York(1981) Mad Max(1979) or The Terminator(1984) but even this is a cheap movie i mean they probably spent more on catering on The Hobbit Battle Of The Shit Movie(2014) than this movie.

Directing wise well it lacks to say the least. Pyun just seems to be high while making this as his original idea was to film it in black and white but executives wouldnt let him ?? like why black and white lol what the fuck was he smoking. And the writing its a simple 80s action flick it should have been easy and a no brainer but this was stupid i could have swallowed scrabble tiles and the vomited them up over paper and did a better job. And the flashbacks ahhh i fucking hate flashbacks unless they have real purpose but not all the way in through a film and this movie has none of that take away the pointless flashbacks you easily have

As for the acting well yeh it has actors in it haha dont ever think anyone here is gonna get an Oscar unless they yoink it.

Van Damme looks genuinely lost here he looks like he has no clue what hes doing or sayiny. He looks like a guy whos making it up as he goes with no direction from the director. As for the main bad guy his own mother has to look him up on wikipedia when ever he calls home lol. As for the rest of them well ive seen better acting in porn Ralf Moellers accent was so bad they did have to dub him lol.

All in not really worth a watch but you have to watch it haha its so bad and so junkie that its kinda fun if your sat at home eating doritos and just tweeting that or a hardcore Van Damme fan other wise its a bit like finding a piss stain on your jeans when youre out in the town you just dont wanna see it.

Two last details you can see the moment Van Damme slashes the guys eye ball as its in the final cut of the film also as a result of this American greedy douchebag going after Van Damme started making films overseas to avoid greedy assholes trying to sue him for any injuries on set.



Best quote: "Fuck".

86 mins long. cert 18. 1989

This gets 3 out of 10 on my finger scale.