Movie review - Haywire


HEYWIRE



BASIC PLOT

A freelance covert operative (Gina Carano) is sent to Barcelona on a rescue mission. But later she finds out shes been set up as scapegoat by her handler.






CAST
Gina Carano as Malory Kane

FACT
The film was made for about half of what Keanu Reeves got for making The Matrix 2 & 3

THOUGHTS AND BEST BITS
Some of the early fight scenes were pretty cool. But the fight scene between Mallory and Paul was great to watch.

Ok this is a mix of love and hate. So the story is basic and very copycat like. Its basically Bourne only instead of getting left for dead floating in the ocean and not being able to remember shes set up by her handler who then attempts to have her killed in some ridiculous way. Now heres the problem with it its done in an annoying flash back style for no fucking reason what so ever. To make matters worse its done in such a way that you have no clue whats really going on other than some things going on you dont know about lol.

Directing wise its piss poor. Now yes its done on a budget of just over twenty million and thats normally what you would pay Bruce Willis for a Die Hard movie but this just felt a little short in ways. For example almost every camera angle stayed on the angle for five minutes at a time even if you couldnt see the actor or view whats going on. It felt like some second unit director was used and had no clue how to draw the audience in and let them join in the adventure. Now sure this may have been down to a lack of money as more angles and shots means more takes and more days setting up things but it just felt a little unfinished and amateur like. And it was made by the guy who gave us OCEANS ELEVEN(2001) so we have to put the lack of movement in camera and lack of other shots down to the budget. But you cant forgive the annoying music played over a huge amount of the movie while scenes are going on and some of them just didnt need music not to mention the music was dogshit and just out of place.

Action wise is not to bad only problem was it uses up all its good fights early on and by half way into the movie your just watching a first time actor running around and talking nonsense and then left with poorer lesser fight scenes. And im pretty sure at one point i seen about three or four bad guys ripe for the picking and i was expecting her to tear them a new one but instead she kills one of camera and then fights one in the dark ? i mean real dark i seen fuck all lol and all i was wondering was where are the rest of them did they get cut out in some directors cut bad edit or did they just run away in fear lol.

Now as for Gina well she was fucking stunning shes super hot and actually did a great job. Sure she could have been given more direction and controlled a little more in some scenes and helped out but all in she was pretty good especially considering this is only her second time behind the camera and her first time in any kind of main part never mind the lead of a film. As for her in the fights well Gina is an ex Ufc fighter and champion. A real life badass... with tits. And she owns the fight scenes. It was kinda like watching a young sexy version of Seagal cause she has the same style hair. No not a wig just a pony tail lol. Now the one problem with the cast and this is gonna seem strange but its the fact its a huge pointless cast and full of brand names. I mean this cast should rock and be up for fucking oscars and basically all of them are leading men and i cant think of a fucking single reason one of them is in this movie. So starting with Channing Tatum whys he in this ? but then it hit me this is one of those films he signed on to do before he had any fame back when he did about nine movies in a week lol. But then we have the likes of Ewan Mcgregor. Antonio Banderas. Michael Douglas and Michael Fassbender i mean these guys are leading men well ok Douglas is a hundred and fifty three but still Fassbender other than having a twat of a name is a leading man and huge just now so that the fucks he in here for ? dont get me wrong they all really have cameos and probably only worked on the movie for a week but still its like what are you all here for specially when your character could be played by anyone as all they play is guys in suits behind the scenes. And fuck knows how the director got them all on board he must have sucked some amount of cock to pull in the cast of extras. But like i say with these guys all on board this movie should rock but its just missing so much and could easily be recut and made better by me.

Ok i would recommend a watch even if its only to see Gina do her thing and own some guys specially when she gets it on with Fassbender. But if your not a Gina fan your probably gonna turn this off as its a poor mans version of THE BOURNE IDENTITY(2002).


Best quote: "shit".

93 mins long. cert 18. 2012

This gets 4 out of 10 on my finger scale.