Movie Review - Justice League


JUSTICE LEAGUE




BASIC PLOT
Steppenwolf shows up to destroy the world after Supermans death





CAST
Henry Cavill as Superman
Ben Affleck as Batman
Gal Gadot as Wonder Woman

FACT
Reshoots in 2017 ment that Henry who had a tash was not able to shave it off as he was mid filming for MI6 his tash was digitally removed later.... keep this in mind for later.

THOUGHTS AN BEST BITS
Sucks how else can i say it stick with me tho im gonna come up with better more witty ways of saying it lol.

We kick off with a sort of Superman funeral scene its kind of like many other movies it reminds me of ROCKY BALBOA(2007) so i shoulda seen this shit coming but didnt so then we have old Bats on the roof doing his thing and a sort of pre build up sign to a war coming but Bats is getting his arse handed to him and this is a running theme in the movie ? but anyways he fights then Wonder Woman fights and then our bad guy shows up looking for his rubix cubes he tears up the place at ? Wonder Woman land and wrecks the woman there takes of with his cube and then oh wait Spoilers bitches lol Wonder Woman then comes to Bruce and says its time then they head off to get the team... and by that i mean he goes and talks to two guys and shes kinda sits about on his lapy and waits for Cyborg to talk to her any ways Bruce talks some shit and while Aquaman says bolt ya nugget once he gets into the water turns out his people have the second rubix cube so fights on and then well he get his arse handed to him he talks to sexy Heard she says go deal with this of course no one else seems to be under the ocean bar him her and some fubar guards but hey the entire movie is a rush job to get them all on the screen together so march on. Cut to the team just together so easily and off to war they go they get into one little fight get there arse handed to them and of course Bats is again hopeless and just jumps in some batbug thing crawling around gets his arse handed to him inside that then an explosion and start over.... by this i mean go wake up superman with the rubix cube they have oh yeh forgot to say Cyborg had one in his back pocket and well pulled it out this feels like a cunty after thought on how to get Superman back up an running like fuck the batteries in the xbox controller are done drag them out the tv remote lol pure shite but off they go with the Avengers move i shall call it and they jump start Superman who comes back to life unhappy and confused hes not evil or shit hes just a little Ripley after a 57 year sleep not full on Rocky getting Ivan Drago punch flashbacks but hes fucked up so anyways he wakes up shirtless and small.... cause hes mid filming for MI6 and his face is fuckkkkkkkked up its like someone used a stand in and then placed his mouth his lips over this face and tried to make them move and talk n shit its really bad like pure fucked up and you cant not see it spoils the movie the tone everything its fucked up i mean how hard is it to wet down a tash ??? i seen Adrain Paul every week on Highlander wet that hair down and to the side for every flash back ? thats a tv show in the 90s this is a potential billion dollar movie and we have no tash wetting abilities ? any ways they all try jump Superman and they do shit to him his the supreme being hes not even close to getting bothered by them wrecks them all and ginger shows up and he just flies off with her and is well like you see in the trailers but still he seems odd.

Cut to the band getting back together as they go off to take n cgi land i mean fight in some place just like Avengers you no a city that normally doesnt exists and lets them film shit in green screen land all indoors so yeh in comes the end fight ? oh yeh its that time already they go off and do no much its all in the trailers no bullshit they fight and get beat up and Superman shows up to save the day no reall hassle or bother he just shows up and beats up whats his face no problems i mean like it was like watching a fat kid at the park open up a twinky it was piss easy and no problem for the most part the rest did nout and really it was like an expensive tv show plot action and acting like bad to the point of shameful. Only way it could have been worse is if it lagged a bit more on my streaming lol.

Directing wise ugh well seen as Zack stepped away ok fine thats what ever but then in comes Joss and its like TANGO & CASH(1989) ending feeling but well not just the ending the movie lol it felt very scene to scene by that i mean they stand here gasp then this person stands here gasp no real talking with the group as if they didnt have them all together much and Henry was gone felt very like patch work stuff trying to put things in no flow or feel or style just this bit then ?? em this part oh wait now this thing and then they do this its all over the fucking place not great i only really loved Wonder Woman here she was at least not just good but hot and a pleasure to look at. Writers who ever they are need a visit from the bear jew this was tripe. The fact they want to film every thing in some large sound stage closed in doors no city no real life and add in a city with cgi later is bad it was fun for 300 mate but fuck you i need real these days no more of this all fake back grounds bullshit its old now.

Acting wise hmm what can i say Ben was Ben for to much for me his old man hair cut in parts made me gag his acting was ok at best and you couldnt tell any difference between him as Bruce or the Bat it was the same voice and tone just a kiddy style to it. The Flash fuck him to hyper take away this kids candy he needs to chill the fuck out anyone that hyper needs kicked from any movie hes like whats his face in the new Star Wars movies the black dude just a bugging face and feel to him not good at all. Jason as Aquaman was kinda fun but hes on trying to be the 18 version of this movie he wants to drink and fuck Wonder Woman not play nice an be a good guy hes a biker extra from Sons Of Anarchy not a pg13 movie guy hes kinda held back. Henry might as well have been asleep or not in the movie hes got so little to do wakes up fights with a cgi non tash takes off and shows up for 6 punches at the end fuck that Superman had less screen time in my view than Alfred or the bat cape lol and keep in mind that fight is after thought once it was done so he wasnt in the fucking movie till the last 3mins punches and cue music he has one small save the civilians moment as he leaves the fight hes won to save them this is pure shit delay tactics to have them all fight the end boss again and lose and then need him back one minute later i say end boss cause some effects in the green screen land look worse that me playing Elder Scrolls Online it was poor any ways he shows up i guess has a suit and is fine now cause hes probably fucked Lois off camera and shot a years worth of cum up her and now hes back and happy lol punches the bad guy and saves the day really no hassle or effort. Gal while looks like a fucking supermodel was the best part she was so lovely to look at i didnt care for the rest just more of her please takes my mind of the shit im ment to be watching she did a great job and was great in her role and with the action.

Things that bugged me the most ? everyone is just all smiles no deaths no peple hurt no city destroyed these bosses always seem to set up shop in some remote out of the way location haha. Now Bats was old and for the most of the movie helpless he did nout ? i mean nothing hes background stuff cant fight much or beat anything in a fight not the little flying monster things nothing hes hopeless and just gets in the way for what hes in it hes ment to be the Iron Man of this movie world and hes barely in the action he even gets a new suit with no reason or point to it its just like the Clooney Batman when you see the photo shoots of him Robin and Batgirl in new shiny silver bits lol well Bens suit does shit has no new gadgets or things just same old hes just useless and cyborg doesnt do much hes kinda a pointless i didnt want him in the movie as far as characters go i kinda hate him hes my last pic you can tell and feel hes in a onesie filming and cgi his body later its just ughh. Wonder Woman while perfection was so weak now against Superman shes a fucking wet paper bag he rag dolls her Aquaman well i dont get his powers ? is he kinda a fish version of Wonder Woman ? like he does nout hes not got any real powers we see and all Flash does is go fast lol this was kinda off silly and not thought out the action was bad at best the banter was well none and the build up was poor and rushed this is a Superman and Batman movie backing only Superman is dead ok so now its Batman and Wonder Woman but this had a feel to it like its pasted together by kids and that white sticky glue you use at school you remember when you paste your fingers and then peel it like snake skin lol well this is what this is pure flop if it breaks even id be surprised keep in mind for box office the cinemas get 40% of the total so a movie with a billion made 600 million and then costs 200 and spent 100 on advertising so lets see what this makes.




Best quote: "am rich".

120 mins long. cert pg. 2017


This gets 4 out of 10 on my finger scale.