Movie review - Blade Runner 2049


BLADE RUNNER 2049





BASIC PLOT
A young Blade Runner in the middle of tracking down replicants ends up finding Deckard and solving the mystery of what happened to him all those years ago.



CAST
Ryan Gosling as K
Harrison Ford as Deckard

FACT
Ridley Scott stated in an interview this year that "yes hes a fucking replicant Deckard is a robot"

THOUGHTS AN BEST BITS
Awful it really is i mean uuhhhh its another shit movie im left with time on my hands i will never get back and i coulda been on fucking pornhub for fuck sakes.

Cast wise come on its Ryan hes adorable but even he aint saving this he does a great job and for the most yeh i was good with him playing his character the way he did. Now as for miss perky tits Ana De Armas yeh her name sounds like a brand of oder day toilet lol but shes damn fine i mean total eye candy that can act she was great what a job she did so cute so soft doest over lay her part try to be to sexy or to much just a nice balance. As for Robin hmm shes good sure but part of me didnt get her annoying character i just dont think she nails it and her character just drags her down with it. As for old hand of god Ford well hes always gonna be Indy and hes good not great but good for the most hes way to much of himself here and not Deckard on steakout telling the cops im working what are you doing lol hes not that guy he doesnt channel his inner Indy and bring this guy back to life hes just Harrison.

Story wise what a load of pish it really is we have Spoilers bitches have young blade runner being kinda fun cool hes hunting down old replicants and he just happens to come across an old one that happens to know Deckard and his story and then finds a remote flower and digs shit up ok fine il let that shit go but then finds Deckard so fucking easily after a long boring few hours and taking us along the journey that hes a human boy and then we have the girl in a bubble and i was thinking oh they are twins and thats his sister maybe shes real to ? but no hes been stabbed and shit and seems ok cause hes a robot but then hes acting like hes real and is a big fucking mess and so many shit waste of time scenes with no adding to the story and border line torture when he keeps checking in and fucking screams at me with repeating shit shit over and over over. The story goes so fucking slow and then it hits me wait i seen scenes in the movie put up on youtube as teasers they aint in the final cut haha so now im fucked i seen shit that now they are cutting out and now i dont get why blind fury wants things so bad mixed with this thunder cunt rep girl chasing after Ryan trying to follow catch or kill him depending on her virtual time of the month and then finall after hours we see Ford and hes chilling in vegas or some shit its doesnt feel like a great story all tied up showing me here what happened and this is why its kinda fucked up they make no mention of Deckard being a bot here hes just old as shit and moving on and then the entire under ground hooker cult following Ryan around and helping an we have always been here its kinda like end of THE DA VINCI CODE(2006) but this doesnt work its kinda lame and then every fuck dies here bar the joker ? or did his death get cut out lol like im confused and it all ends with Ryan left on some cheap snowy rocky steps to short circuit an die while Hans Solo goes to get the girl its so bad the entire movie drags so hard and i was just hoping for something even the stupid scene they fight each other is the most pointless scene i have seen in a good while its like why why who wrote this into the movie and why its like stupid delay tactics or some shit i just dont get it.

Directing now it hits me why was this movie annoying and shit and hard to stay with follow or care about its all this fuckers fault Denis Villeneuve the french fucker man he fucked me again hes the guy who gave us PRISONERS(2006) his first ever major movie that is a movie thats budget may have been more than the catering of TITANIC(1997) that movie was ok but odd and strange and ends really poor its hard to keep u with and well kinda shit then hes the cunt that makes SICARIO(2015) what a pile of fucking jurassic park dino shit i mean the trailer shows the movie as Blunt as the lead and its her story her movie is it fuck its all the Collectors story almost nothing to do with her what a total shit waste of film fuck me who pays this guy who seen that an said waw fund him for wait for it ARRIVAL(2016) did some one say Brian Gregory ? talk about shit stains lol i mean this movie is awful it seems good odd fun and then flash back or forward i cant tell now i paid Will Smith 200 bucks to flash me in the eyes with a lazer pen for an hour to wipe my memory its bad its a horrible stupid cunt of a movie and some exec in an office thought hmm lets give this guy or world or sequel or money lol fuck me... wait was it Harvey Weinstein well if it was i hope he fucked his ass so hard so hard just fucking squeal like a hog boy i hope he pumped his french are so full of cum his mouth looked like Ash at the end of ALIEN(1979) this is trash a movie that comes of an over rated movie any way but still the world and the style the look is so cool and had such an amazing chance to be great but hmm havnt all these movies i just read of tanked at the box office and people hated them ? hmm odd that eh any ways hes the reason this movie sucks donkey balls.

The only good thing to come from this movie was Ana and Dave with a great performance hes doing so good these days trying hard and working away but the rest of this movie an cast can fuck right off into a David Bowie oubliette an die. Movies bad avoid like its your mothers dildo drawer. Id probably wont ever watch this again in my life time unless the movie is on tv and im sat in a chair like old Hawkings rip and cant find the remote.



Best quote: "i love yo".

204 mins long. cert 18. 2018


This gets 3 out of 10 on my finger scale.